Feeling Like A Lost Kitten
by Lone Wulffe
Summary: Songfic based on Fushigi Yuugi's Tokimeki no Doukasen by Yukari Konno. Part Two of Three Steps. ReiShinji


I don't own Evangelion or the song. Will forever wish I did, though. Or at least Rei...that would be nice. Anyway, I'm changing the name-saying thing to the Japanese way from now on (Family name first, then first name). I think I'm the one of the only ones who use anime songs for my songfics. And from other animes too. Key:  
  
"Talking"  
  
[Thinking]  
  
'Emphasis'  
  
_Song  
_  
{Translation}  
  
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It was a normal Friday morning, or at least as normal as you could get it in a city like Tokyo-3. Within the confines of her rundown apartment, Ayanami Rei awoke from yet another dream, a concept that had been alien to her until after the events of the last Angel attack. A dream that involved a certain male called Ikari Shinji. [Yet another dream of him...why does he come to me in my sleep?] Shrugging off all the questions that were on her mind, the girl began yet another school day.  
  
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On the other side of the city, the very same boy woke up from a vivid dream a bout a specific female that possessed ice-blue hair and blood-red eyes that he knew. Shinji lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling of his room as he contemplated past events and possible futures. He flushed as he recalled how he had freaked out when he had woken up so close to her in the morning after the Angel.   
  
[I might never get a chance like that again...unless every single Angel attack after this happens to end like that...] He grinned to himself as he entertained that line of thought. [Or I could initiate things with her and see how everything turns out. The last thought had mixed effects on him, terrifying him due to his timid nature and exciting him with the prospect of getting to know the enigmatic albino girl better.  
  
_Anata no namae yondara soko de_ {If I call out your name, then}  
  
_Totsuzen me ga samesou_ {I might suddenly wake up}  
  
_Konna ni umaku ikikkonai_ {It's not going to work out that well for us...}  
  
_Mata guuzen aeru nante_ {Meeting again by chance}  
  
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School started and ended with nothing exceptional happening that would warrant interest. The designated pilot of Unit-00 began the ritual of packing up and walking out of the school grounds. As she approached the school gates, she noticed a familiar figure standing there. "Shinji-kun?" she whispered as the distance between them decreased. [He appears to be looking for someone...] came the observative part of the First Children's mind as she silenced an irrational voice at the back of her head that yearned for herself to be the object of his searches.  
  
_Hitogomi no naka watashi to onaji_ {In a crowd, you're just looking}  
  
_Kamishita ko dake mite'ru_ {At girls with the same hair-cut as me.}  
  
_Kitto dareka wo sagashite'ru n' da_ {You're probably looking for someone}  
  
_Koi no aite ka na_ {I wonder if it's your lover?}  
  
Suddenly he turned hishead in her direction, his gaze locking with hers and maintaining it. The look on Unit-01's pilot's face was akin to a five-year-old who had found his long-lost favourite toy.  
  
_Me ga atta shunkan_ {In that moment our eyes met,}  
  
_Demo sore wa watashi de_ {I realized it was me you were looking for}  
  
[He was...looking for...me?] was the only thought that registered in the azure-haired pilot's mind. Then she realized that the boy in question was in fact running in her direction and waving in an attempt to get her attention.  
  
_Uso yo uso,_ {It can't be! It can't be!}  
  
_Anata kakete kuru_ {You're running right toward me}  
  
All at once Rei felt a warmth spread through her entire body. Her heart was beating faster for no apparent reason and she was fighting a small urge to just drop her bag in shock. If not for her iron-fisted control over her emotions she would have lost all control of her body by now. Shinji had finally reached her and was resting his hands on his knees as he attempted to catch his breath. "Shinji-kun, are you alright?" questioned the slightly worried cerise-eyed girl. "Yeah,...puff...just let me...wheeze...catch my breath," came the reply. A flicker of mild amusement flitted across her face unnoticed as she observed the clearly exhausted boy in front of her.  
  
_Tokimeki no doukasen ga_ {The fuse of excitement}  
  
_Karada-juu wo hashitte'ku_ {Runs all through my body}  
  
_BARABARA ni naranai you ni_ {I don't want to fall to pieces, so}  
  
_SHIKKARI shinakucha watashi_ {I've got to get a hold of myself}  
  
"Ah...Rei...I was wondering if...you're free tonight," the boy nervously asked his coworker. He watched as she contemplated his question before answering. "I do not have anything scheduled for this entire weekend, so yes, I am available." "Ah...I see...that's good..." By now Shinji felt that all his courage had disappeared the moment he had arrived in the spot that he was in.  
  
Observingthe quaking mass of nerves that stood before her, the First Children tilted her head to the side in curiosity. "Is there something you wish to ask of me, Shinji-kun?" Although simple, those words were enough to bring the boy back to reality. "Eh...ah, yes...I wanted to ask you...willyougoouttodinnerwithmetonight?" The words tumbled out of his mouth as one, his almost incoherent mumbling nearly transforming the sentence into an alien language.  
  
Slightly stunned, the girl blinked several times (three, Shinji counted) in succession. After some thought on her part, she nodded slightly, so much that she hardly even moved her head at all. "Very well, I accept your invitation." "Really? That's great! Uh, I'll pick you up at seven, is that alright?" he said enthusiastically, his mood improving immensely with her agreement. "That is acceptable," she replied in her usual fashion. "O-Okay. See you later then, Rei!" the male pilot yelled enthusiastically over his shoulder as he ran home to prepare himself.  
  
_Demo chotto kyou wa chotto_ {But a little bit, today, a little bit,}  
  
_Kimochi ga maigo no koneko_ {I feel like a lost kitten}  
  
_Yasashisa de semeraretara_ {If you aproach me with kindness,}  
  
_Tsuite'ku shikanai kamo ne NYA-O_ {I can't but follow you Meow}  
  
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Ikari Shinji, the Third Children, designated pilot of the Evangelion Unit-01, was a complete, nervous wreck. Before him was the door of Rei's apartment that suddenly seemed even more terrifying than all the previous Angels rolled into one. In fact, it was all he could do to keep his body from bolting from the place in fear. Finally his hand balled up into a fist and connected with the door, making a soft knocking sound. Almost immediately the door opened.  
  
Shinji was floored. To better describe this momet, an N2 mine could have gone off nearby and he wouldn't have noticed. To BETTER describe this moment, someone could've shot him and he wouldn't have flinched. [I've died and gone to heaven...]  
  
Rei was wearing a simple sleeveless soft blue dress that ended just below the knees. Although it was not too tight, it was enough to lightly hug her body and succeed at bringing out every single curve in her stunning figure. All in all her outfit served its only purpose which was to enhance her already exquisite looks. The boy's mind immediately burned the memory into the back of his head and stored the image under his mind's file labeled "precious".  
  
Unit-01's pilot himself was wearing a cream-coloured suit complemented by a deep red tie. The suit itself had been finely tailored to fit him perfectly (Misato had forced him to buy it on one of her numerous shopping fevers, he now felt quite glad that it was one of the few times he had actually listened to her) while the tie had been a gift from Ritsuko (she had deemed it neccessary after she hd heard about the suit from Misato).  
  
The Third Children didn't notice it but he was staring for a very LONG time. Finally it was Rei who broke the silence. "Shinji-kun, is something wrong?" "Eh?" was all that came out of the boy's mouth as he snapped out of his daze. Unbeknownst to him, his staring had had slightly unnerving effects on the crimson-eyed girl before him. The First Children repeated her question. "I inquired if there is something wrong." "Uh, n-no, nothing's wrong. I-It's just that..." "Hai?" "W-Well, tonight's a really beautiful night and I was, um, wondering if you'd like to walk." "That is...acceptable." "O-Okay then, let's go or we'll be late."  
  
The walk that ensued was conducted in silence. After a few minutes, Shinji found enough courage in himself to voice what had really been on his mind the moment she had opened the door. "Um, Rei..." She stopped to regard him, forcing him to halt his walking and meet her intense gaze. "...What I really wanted to say back there at your apartment was..." [Come ON, SAY IT! This is the perfect opportunity!] "...You're very beautiful." [Wow. That was easy. I can't believe I actually did that.]  
  
The boy watched as his fellow pilot's cheeks flushed a soft pink. [Kawaii...] "T-Thank you," she replied speaking words that she only used with him. Swiftly she turned around and resumed walking, causing the Third Children to jog a bit to catch up with her. Unit-00's pilot let her thoughts wander. [No one has called me beautiful before...] A distant memory came to her at this moment. [He said that before...in my dream...] The girl smiled inwardly. [It would seem that dreams 'can' come true...] she mused to herself.  
  
_Ikura nandemo nisugiteru yo ne_ {What you said}  
  
_Anata no sono hanashi wa_ {Was so very similar}  
  
_Watashi ga yuube yume no tochuu de_ {To the lines that were spoken to me}  
  
_Iwareta SERIFU ni_ {In the dream that I had last night}  
  
Meanwhile Shinji was lost in his own world with his thoughts. [These feelings...these thoughts...what do they mean? It feels like I could only ever love a single girl my entire life. I guess in that sense I'm like Father. As far as I know he still loves Mother. At least that's as far as 'I' know.] The boy chanced a glance at his 'date'. [I wonder...is she the same? She's always so dedicated, so strong, so determined about her duties. Maybe she's the same when it comes to other things. Like...love? Wait, why am I thinking about these things?]  
  
_Omoi omoware sae_ {Loving and being loved}  
  
_Sunatsubu no kakuritsu_ {Has only a grain of chance}  
  
The azure-haired pilot's thoughts were not too far off the same thread. [Ikari Shinji. The Commander's son. Designated pilot of Unit-01. We are bonded as pilots. And yet...I feel it is more. I...wish it were more. He has been the only one to truly care for my well-being. From him, I have heard words that no one else has spoken to me. To him, I have said words that I have never spoken to anyone else. I have smiled, only for him. He is one of the few to call me by my first name. And when he does, I feel...special. Unique. He makes me feel emotions that I have never felt before this. Somehow...I feel that there will be no one else that will affect me the way he does.]  
  
If both the Children had been able to read each other's minds at that moment, they would have been shocked at the similarity between their thoughts. [This feeling...it's only with her. Kensuke-kun and Touji-kun told me that lots of girls like me but I know it's because of my pilot status. 'She' is different. I don't have to do anything to impress her at all. Hell, I don't think 'anything' can impress her for that matter. Misato-san looks after me because it's her job to do so. Father values me because I can pilot. But she...she was willing to die for 'me'. She didn't have to, but she did. She's the only reason I'm still alive and here right now.]  
  
_"Demo ne sono tsubu ga boku da yo" tte_ {"But, you know, that grain is me" you said}  
  
As the distance between them and the restaurant lessened, Shinji found himself slipping back into 'panic' mode. [OhGodohGodohGod. PleasepleasePLEASE don't let 'anything' bad happen tonight. I'll do anything. I'll stop complaining about my miserable life. I'll tolerate every one of Misato-san's teasing. Just...PLEASE...let this night be a night to remembered. All that's left is for me to pray that she doesn't break my heart after this. I've risked so much...I don't want to get hurt again. I owe her my life. I can only hope...she doesn't destroy it as well.]  
  
_Tokimeki no doukasen ga_ {The fuse of excitement}  
  
_JIN-JIN itte moeteku_ {Is sizzling down}  
  
_Ima sugu ni fukikesanakya_ {I've got to blow it out right away, or else}  
  
_Zettai itsuka kizutsuku_ {I'll surely end up getting hurt some day}  
  
The pilot of Unit-01 took a deep breath and attempted to calm his jittery nerves. [Okay. Okay. Take a deep breath and calm down. Just...be yourself. Everything will be alright, right?] He laughed sarcastically to himself in his head. [Yeah right. Knowing myself, I'll probably find 'some' way to just screw it up somehow.] Suddenly Rei's hand accidentally brushed against his. All at once his attempts to keep his cool were flushed down the drain and promptly forgotten.  
  
[Okay, at this moment I should hold her hand. It's not impolite, right?] Unfortunately for him, his hand had chosen that exact time to disregard all orders from his brain, choosing instead to act as if it had acquired a sever cas of frostbite. "Shinji-kun, I believe we are here," came the soft melodious voice of the girl beside him. He started, his head swivelling up to see the restaurant that they were to have dinner at. [Damn, I'm such a loser. If this keeps up I'll never get her,] he thought glumly to himself.  
  
_Demo sukoshi honno sukoshi_ {But a little bit, only a little bit,}  
  
_Sono mama sekkin shitai_ {I want to approach you as I am}  
  
_Te ni mo fure- rarenai no ni_ {But when I can't even touch your hand,}  
  
_Ikinari hikkakenai yo NYA-O_ {How can I hold on to you? Meow}  
  
They enterd and set down at one of the tables. After both of them had ordered and the waiter had left, silence yet again reigned around them. No wordswere spoken but occasionally one of them would glance across the table at their partner. On one of those occasions both happened to look ateach other, their gazes locking his ocean blue eyes with her bloodred ones.  
  
_Me ga atta shunkan (shunkan)_ {In that moment our eyes met,}  
  
_Demo sore wa watashi de (wa watashi de)_ {I realized it was me you were looking for}  
  
In a sudden burst of inspiration (plus a sprinkle of courage), Shinji slowly reached his hand across the table to clasp Rei's small one. Both hands met in the middle and their fingers interlaced, his hand almost entirely covering hers in the process.  
  
_Uso yo uso,_ {It can't be! It can't be!}  
  
_Anata kakete kuru_ {You're running right toward me}  
  
The direct skin contact caused both parties to experience a shiver that ran through their entire body. [Warmth. Comfort. Security. This is what I feel from him.] The boy's thoughts echoed hers exactly. The moment was interrupted by the arrival of their dishes. Immediately their hands broke off, both blushing furiously although it was a lot more noticeable on the boy's face. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, both continuously glancing at one another but at different intervals.  
  
_Tokimeki no doukasen ga_ {The fuse of excitement}  
  
_Karada-juu wo hashitte'ku_ {Runs all through my body}  
  
_BARABARA ni naranai you ni_ {I don't want to fall to pieces, so}  
  
_SHIKKARI shinakucha watashi_ {I've got to get a hold of myself}  
  
All too soon for the boy pilot's liking, the meal was over and Shinji was escorting Rei back to her apartment. The brown-haired pilot stood unmoving as his cerulean-haired companion opened the door of her place but did not go in. "Goodnight, Rei," he said just above a whisper, regretting that the night wasn't long enough. "Goodnight, Shinji-kun...and thank you for tonight." "Oh, it was nothing, as long as you enjoyed it," came the modest reply. "I...did." "I see, that's good."  
  
The girl entered her apartment and was about to close the door when the boy stopped her. "Um, Rei..." She halted and turned to regard him. "Can you come to my home, like, um, tomorrow night?" [Pleasesayyes. Pleasesayyes. Pleasesayyes.] "...Very well." A soft click was audible as the door closed, cutting her off from his view. But the boy wasn't in the least bothered. As he made his way back to his home, his heart sang with joy at the prospect of seeing her again a lot sooner and getting something off his chest in a more comfortable location.  
  
_Demo chotto kyou wa chotto_ {But a little bit, today, a little bit}  
  
_Kimochi ga maigo no koneko_ {I feel like a lost kitten}  
  
_Yasashisa de semeraretara_ {If you approach me with kindness,}  
  
_Tsuite'ku shikanai kamo ne NYA-O_ {I can't help but follow you Meow}  
  
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YES!!! I've finally finished Part Two!!! Yay! Thanks to all those who asked for a sequel from me. Okay, to clarify a few things: The second 'running' part, well, I changed it to holding hands 'cos it's a lot easier. So yes, this is only Part Two. One more part before I finally stop this line. If you're wondering why I chose a Fushigi Yuugi song, that's 'cos, well, I like the song. A LOT. If you want an explanation of the title (Three Steps), wait for Part Three 'cos if I tell you now it'll ruin a lot of things. R&R please. 


End file.
